Don’t Just Appear, FEEL More Confident

I’ve seen lots of advice about how to appear more confident… to improve your posture, tone of voice, eye contact, etc. But what good will that do if you don’t actually FEEL confident? Feeling more confident wont come quickly, but it could be pretty easy if you just create a few new habits. Here are some confidence-boosting activities to help you get there:

  1. Set aside some time each day to think or write about a time you’ve done well. You probably already spend some time thinking about a mistake you made or the perfect thing you wish you’d said earlier. The next time you do that, stop yourself. Change that thought to a time you were happy with yourself, when you performed well, were kind, made someone think, clap, “wow”, smile, or laugh, worked your hardest, gave your all, created something, helped someone, etc. Change your habits to focus on when you did well, and to re-creating those experiences.
  2. Start a gratitude journal. Every night before bed write down 5 things you’re grateful for that day. It’s a wonderful habit to start. It helps you get into the mindset to think about your life and yourself in a positive light. Write it down (or type it into your phone) rather than just think about it, so you have it to look back on when you’re feeling down.
  3. Wear clothes that are comfortable and make you feel good. You might own some things you love, but they just don’t fit your body. This makes you tug on them, stand awkwardly, slump, or feel insecure when you leave the house. It can ruin your confidence, even though you love that outfit. Of course you can’t go out and buy a whole new wardrobe, but the next time you shop be really picky about your clothes. Wear them around at home with the tags still on to make sure you don’t feel awkward in them. Take them back if you do and keep shopping!
  4. In moments you feel you’re losing your confidence, take a moment to calm and re-center yourself. Take up yoga, stretching, meditation, mindfulness, etc. You can find websites, apps, videos on youtube… lots for free! There are some great how-to’s out there for beginners if this is new for you. If you don’t find something you like, try something else until you do. The reason this works is because many people feel a lack of confidence because of emotions or thoughts running wild. These activities calm your mind and those emotions.
  5. Take time to learn something new! Building a new skill, trying new things, making new friends can do wonders for your confidence. It stimulates your brain and gets you excited about something new. And at the end of your “lessons” you’ll be proud that you’re now able to do something you couldn’t do before! This doesn’t have to be time consuming or expensive. There are tutorials on youtube for how to learn lots of things: create charts in Excel, use graphic design software, photography, knitting, cooking, professional make-up artistry, playing guitar, etc.

These are just a few ideas. Can you think of some other ways? Some things you’ve done in the past to boost your confidence or maybe you’ve seen a friend or family member do? Give it a try! Share it with your friends. Don’t keep it to yourself! Everyone has a reason to feel confident. Remember yours every day so you can face the world and spread that positive energy!



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